


Sugar Cookies

by PekoIsBaby



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: And puts them to WORK, But man needs therapy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, It's just sad Taakitz and then happy Taakitz, Kravitz somehow manages to scrounge up like 2 brain cells, Like I love him, M/M, POV Taako (The Adventure Zone), Taako Backstory (The Adventure Zone), Taako's really stupid alright, and hugs, that's it that's the fic, we love to see it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29888967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PekoIsBaby/pseuds/PekoIsBaby
Summary: Taako stress-bakes and from it gains significantly more stress. Kravitz is trying very hard.
Relationships: Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20





	Sugar Cookies

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhh yeah I figured it was time I wrote something from what is probably my favorite podcast of all time
> 
> This will likely not be the only thing from TAZ that makes its way onto my page
> 
> For some reason this is,, way harder to write?? Than Danganronpa?? I think it's because (sorry DR) the actual canon characterization is better and more complex, so it's harder to get right
> 
> This is why I'm scared to write TMA
> 
> Still, I had fun writing this, so I hope you have fun reading it! 
> 
> Spoilers for up to the Lunar Interlude in between The Eleventh Hour and The Suffering Game, and then a couple references to some Big Endgame Spoilers so I prolly wouldn't risk it. 
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> -Mentions of death  
> -Panic attacks  
> -Poison 
> 
> I think? That's it? Lemme know if I missed anything.
> 
> Enjoy!

The statement ‘I called Death at 2 in the morning to ask if he wanted cookies’ was one that usually wasn’t to be taken literally. It was, admittedly, unconventional regardless of context, but it could safely be assumed that you were just kidding, or speaking metaphorically. It was something to be said to a friend, perhaps, late at night over giggles and pillow fights. If you were feeling particularly whimsical, you might throw it at an enemy, to confuse them, or remind them that you meant business. It was a joke.

But, for Taako the idiot wizard, it was _entirely_ literal. 

“What’s shakin’?” 

“Taa- Taako?” 

“The one and only. You awake?”

“It’s the middle of the night, Taako, what could you possibly want?” He didn’t sound too annoyed, more tired than anything else. 

Had he woken Kravitz? Somehow, it hadn’t occurred to him till now to ask the reaper if he actually slept. “Ah, well, I wasn’t sleeping too hot and decided to make some sugar cookies. Beef boy and the other one didn’t seem too keen on waking up at - I believe Magnus called it “this unholy hour”, whatever the fuck that means - so I figured I’d call you and see if you wanted some.”

“You called me… at two in the morning… because you couldn’t sleep and made cookies?” 

“I mean, you can just say no, I don’t-” 

“No! No, I’m not saying I don’t want to, I’m just-”

“Then wake up, bone boy, because these cookies aren’t going to stay warm for that long!” 

“You’re a wizard, you can keep them warm as long as you want.” A note of fondness brushed over Kravitz’s voice, making Taako feel unexpectedly warm even as his heart dropped at the idea. 

“Yeah, well.” Taako forced a laugh. “Maybe I just wanted you to hurry up?” 

“Can’t rush perfection, Taako.” 

“So you _are_ coming?” 

Kravitz sounded vaguely offended. “Of course I’m coming, I wouldn’t miss your stress-baking for the world.” 

“I take issue with that phrasing, Krav. It’s awfully bold of you to assume there was any stress involved.” Hands shaking as he grabbed the ingredients. Spilling the bowl four times, too afraid to use prestidigitation to clear the mess. Checking and rechecking a recipe he could’ve done in his sleep. Yep. No stress at all. “Inspiration just struck, my man, and who am I to chain my sugar cookie muse?” 

A chuckle from the other end. “I apologize. I’ll be there shortly, Taako.” 

Oh, shit, he was actually coming. Stepping as far away from the cookies as he could, Taako magically siphoned away the flour on his clothes, before realizing that pajamas weren’t exactly ‘hot second date’ material - did this count as a second date? Was Kravitz expecting it to be a second date? - and running into his room to change as quickly as possible (first clothes he could see that weren’t entirely awful, pull on the hat, take it off to brush out hair, braid it quick, hat back on, no time for makeup, done). By the time he got back to the cookies, checking and rechecking to make sure they weren’t poisoned (he’d tasted the dough, for - Istus’s? - sake, they were _fine_ ) he had deemed himself, the room, and the cookies presentable. 

Shit, he cared _way_ too much about everything being presentable. _Uh oh, attachment._

A rift opened up in the living room, and Kravitz carefully stepped out. Taako’s heart did not leap at the sight of his face, nor did something warm and bright bloom throughout his entire body, and his face _certainly_ did not flush when he realized that Kravitz was, for the first time since they’d met, wearing entirely casual clothes (Taako was on the verge of teasing him for looking like a peasant before realizing that Kravitz might illusion himself a suit, which he _definitely_ didn’t want). Taako maybe overestimated how important this meeting was. Kravitz sealed the portal before turning and flashing a sleepy grin at Taako. 

“Shit, man, you look like death.” That was the first thing that popped out of Taako’s mouth, and he had to fight the urge to clap a hand to his mouth in shock. Maybe he was a little more tired than he thought. In his defense, Kravitz really did look exhausted. 

Kravitz laughed softly. “I am the grim reaper, Taako.”

“Oh, shut up, asshole, you know what I meant. You shouldn’t have come, wouldn’t have… hurt my feelings, or whatever, if that’s what you were worried about.”

“No, no, I’m… I’m fine. I’m just… _how_ do you have so much energy?”

“Coffee and sheer force of will, my man! Nothing a good old dose of that Taako magic can’t fix, even sleep deprivation!” 

Kravitz laughed. “I genuinely can’t tell if you’re joking.” 

“You want the truth?”

“Oh, desperately so.”

Taako leaned in to whisper in Kravitz’s ear (was this overstepping? He wasn’t sure if this was overstepping). “Neither can I.” Pulling away, he gestured to the cookies. “Anyway, these aren’t gonna eat themselves, so let’s, uh, get munchin’!” He picked up a cookie, willing his hands not to shake, and allowed Kravitz to grab one, too. He tapped his against Kravitz’s in a mock-toast, before watching anxiously as Kravitz-

_No._

It hadn’t been intentional. Taako had been trying all night to convince himself that it was _fine,_ that he was okay, that Kravitz couldn’t die anyway so what did it matter? But, entirely unbidden, a small magic missile fired from his shaking fingertip - when had he held out his hand? - and sent the sugar cookie flying into the wall. Amazingly, it fell to the floor, unharmed. Kravitz whipped his head around in shock, staring at Taako. 

Taako felt himself shaking, and was certain it was at least slightly visible, but he just forced a smile and leaned casually (or, at least, as casually as he could manage) against the counter. “Oops, sorry, dude. Twitchy magic fingers, you know how it goes.” 

Kravitz nodded, the look of concern not leaving his face. “I… okay, Taako.” He moved to pick up the sugar cookie. 

“No no no, don’t!” Kravitz froze and looked up questioningly at Taako, who felt himself slipping into panic. “No, I- I hit that with magic, I don’t- I don’t know what that would- just take a new- or, fuck, or don’t, maybe, I think this was a bad idea- I’m sorry, I-”

“Hey, hey, Taako.” Kravitz rushed to his side, seemingly unsure whether he was allowed to touch Taako or not. Taako, almost on instinct, leaned into Kravitz’s cool chest, trying to regain control of his breathing. He was fine, he was fine, he was fine he was fine he was fine fine fine- 

“Taako, do you- do you want to sit down?” 

“Nah, man, I’m chill.” He wasn’t in his body. Nothing felt right. His skin felt stretched over his bones in a way that was too much to handle. Half of him couldn’t feel anything at all. It was an absent, far-off panic, filling his chest and tightening his throat. He watched himself smile brightly and wave Kravitz off. Kravitz, bless his heart, didn’t move. 

“Taako, I… you’re not ‘chill’, you’re upset, just… sit down for a minute, okay?” 

Taako heard him on one level, but another level spoke up. “Don’t… promise me you won’t eat them? I don’t… I can’t lose you, okay? You’re a good thing in a whole mess of not so good things, and I’d rather die than lose you.” He felt himself wince. Great, cool, wonderful. This was the first time he and Kravitz had met without any actual business to attend to, and he had to get… emotional. Tears pricked the back of Taako’s eyes as he realized that Kravitz inevitably getting scared off and leaving was going to _hurt_ , a lot more than he’d expected it to. 

“I… Taako, why would eating those cookies make you lose me? I’m- I’m trying to understand, but, frankly, it isn’t making a lot of sense.”

Oh, god, he didn’t know. Somehow, Taako had assumed that Kravitz - the literal Grim Reaper - would know about this. He opened his mouth to say it, but it got stuck in his throat and made breathing nearly impossible. Stuck like food, stuck… stuck like poison, fuck, shit, _no_. Finally, he allowed Kravitz to lead him to the couch, where he sat, taking in gasps of air because that was all he could manage. “I… well, not me, but- shit.” 

“Okay. Breathe first, explain second. You’re okay. You’re _here._ You’re alive, and you’re here, and I’m… I’m here, too, okay? I’m not going anywhere.” 

“It- it wasn’t my fault,” Taako murmured, almost unable to hear Kravitz’s words. “I swear. You… you saw, it was- it was him, he…” 

“I know it wasn’t,” Kravitz said soothingly. Taako was on some level aware that Kravitz had no idea what he was talking about, but mostly he was paying attention to the ice-cold of the reaper’s skin, letting it pull him back to safety, to presence, to _here._ Slowly, his breathing eased. He looked up at Kravitz with what felt a little too stretched to be a real casual smile, and extracted himself from the other man’s touch. 

“I’m all good, homie. Sorry for the little freakout over there, I was worried I’d kill you! Which, in hindsight, is, uh, a dumb thing to worry about, but it’d be a lot of paperwork if I killed the Grim Reaper in my dorm room. Honestly, it was a finance thing, so… sorry I ruined whatever this was, you probably have important business to attend to, I will pretend to sleep until you leave.” Taako stood up to head for his room. 

“Nope. I’m pretty sure we have to talk.”

“You can just say you don’t wanna come around anymore - god, that sounded pathetic, and maybe sort of like I’m assuming too much, like, maybe you didn’t want to come around in the first place, which would be your loss, because I’m fucking incredible - no, that’s not the point, you’re… you’re free to go, I guess. World’s your oyster and all that. Plus I doubt I’m powerful enough to really stop you. Not that I would. You know. I’m not… I’m not that clingy.” He tried for a laugh. It fell flat. Kravitz was staring. Taako felt a hot flush creep up his neck. “I’m not even upset, I mean, it’s only been one date- unless it wasn’t a- oh, shit, I assumed- I probably misread- nope. Ignore me, I’m stupid, this is sliding into essay territory, which was not my intention. I will shut up… now.” He closed his mouth for two seconds. “Even though, honestly? Leaving because I was concerned for your life and maybe - _maybe_ \- was a little… let’s call it _compromised…_ for a few short moments? You need to readjust your priorities, because you’re leaving some _good shit_ for something dumb, and- and I hope you die alone? No, that’s not true, I don’t- fuck, I’m usually better at this, I swear-”

Kravitz seemed to finally find his voice. “Taako.”

“I guess I shouldn’t be yelling at you, it’s not fair or whatever, I don’t care all that much - all evidence to the contrary, I suppose - but-”

“Taako.”

“-I just think you’re making a mistake, probably, maybe.”

“Taako!” Taako fell silent as Kravitz raised his voice. Kravitz sighed. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Taako blinked. “Oh, dude, I take it back. You’re _definitely_ making a mistake.” 

Kravitz’s lips twitched slightly. “I’m not leaving, I just… I just want to know what’s wrong. I don’t like seeing you upset.”

Taako’s eyes drifted downwards before settling on the floor. “Sorry about that, I guess. I didn’t mean to inconvenience you or… whatever.”

“No, not… not like that, I just don’t want you to hurt because I _care_ about you, which is probably going very fast since last time we spoke I was considering dragging you kicking and screaming to the afterlife, but… life’s short?”

“You can’t die.” Taako sat back down next to Kravitz. 

“Please, Taako, talk to me. You don’t have to explain everything, just… let me know what I can do.”

“Did… do you know about a town called Glamour Springs?”

“I’ve heard of it, yes.” Kravitz had taken to rubbing small circles into the palm of Taako’s hand. Taako almost unconsciously pressed closer. 

“And you know I used to be a travelling chef?”

“Yeah, of course. Sizzle it Up, right?”

“Natch, yup, that’s the one. Uh… I don’t really do that anymore.” 

“I figured. Running a successful cooking show like yours doesn’t leave much time for living on moon bases or saving the world.”

“Were you a fan?” Taako forced a bright grin onto his face. 

Kravitz laughed softly. “I was… aware of the show. I wouldn’t call myself an avid fan, but I certainly recognized your name from the bounties.”

“Yeah, hun, how didn’t you catch me when the show was going on?” 

“I _had_ other bounties, Taako.”

“I mean, yeah, but didn't I take priority or something?” 

Kravitz let out a real laugh this time, big and warm and bright. “Yes, yes, you were my favorite, Taako. None of my other bounties were so good at distracting me from the conversation topic at hand. Continue. What happened at Glamour Springs?” 

Taako closed his eyes, suddenly unable to watch Kravitz’s reaction. “I was… I did a show there. I mean, I actually did a lot of shows there, I was kind of popular - not that I wasn’t popular everywhere, obviously - so… um… the last show didn’t go super great?”

“How?”

“Um…” Taako swallowed, heartbeat a little too quick for his own personal comfort. “I gave the people there bad food?” When Kravitz didn’t respond, he exhaled slowly, trying to calm down. “Like… like really bad. Like unsurvivable… bad. I gave them poisoned food.” 

“Sorry, what?” Kravitz had pulled away. Taako wasn’t even looking at him, but he could feel him pulling away. 

“Not on purpose! Fuck, see, this is why- this is why I don’t tell people, I forget the part where it was a total accident. I thought I’d fucked up the transmutation for a while, and then the chalice - remember, I explained the whole chalice thing, with the old lady who was actually a kid - the chalice showed me that it wasn’t my fault, my assistant put poison in the food because he was jealous of me, so… that’s it, that’s the whole thing, so… no need to lose your shit, or whatever, it’s done, I’m fine, I didn’t know any of those people so…” 

“Taako, you can’t mean that.” 

“I… I can’t? You were the one who just said you didn’t want me to be upset- you’re sending a lot of mixed messages, my man, and I for one do not appreciate it.” Taako flopped backwards onto the couch, hoping he’d drop it. He did not. 

"Of course I don't want you to be upset, but I also don't want you to... pass off the death of forty people like..." 

"Forty strangers," Taako corrected automatically.

"Still people."

"Well, yeah, sure," Taako conceded. "But they might've died anyway, and I wouldn't have known about it. It ends up the same." 

“Taako, do you honestly not understand the weight of… life? I deal in death, I’ve heard a million prices put on a human life - people have offered me gold, favors, threats - and I’ve turned them all away, because that’s my job, and because there is no amount that is equal to that of the life of a person. They are incalculably valuable, and I- I understand that better than anyone, and for you to say that it doesn’t matter, it…” Kravitz seemed to slump. “It scares me. That’s the truth.” 

Taako sat perfectly still as his mind reeled. Thoughts came and went too quickly to process, instead melting into a slush of words he didn't want to think about, words like 'alone' and 'forgotten' and, somewhat confusingly, 'just like her'. Kravitz reminded him of someone. But he had no idea who. 

“It’s not true,” he found himself saying quietly. His voice almost doesn’t sound like his. “I’m… it’s not true.” 

“Which part?” Kravitz’s voice was gentle, but firm. Taako gave up on trying to get out of the conversation.

“I… I’ve been forcing myself not to care for a long time.” He snorted softly. “Guess it didn’t quite work out, so that one’s on me. But, uh… no, I- I have, uh, nightmares? About them? Their faces, and- and their families, too, just fucking _staring_ at me, telling me it’s my fault, and- I usually wake up choking? I apologized, a million times, just like… to the air, I don’t know, it sounds kind of stupid now that I’m saying it out loud, but it doesn’t _work_ because I still feel so damn _guilty_ and- it’s only gotten worse since Refuge.” 

“Wait, I’m confused. Didn’t you say that you found out it _wasn’t_ your fault in Refuge? Why would you become guiltier after realizing you weren’t… guilty?”

“Yeah, that’s… that’s a whole extra layer, my man, we’ll be here all night if-”

“Taako.”

Taako was silent for a moment, as Kravitz stared at him. “Yeah, okay, fine, you got me, feelings train, uh, pulling into the station, woot woot, whatever. It’s… it’s kinda like that cup lady said. Those people still died. Their lives are still over, no matter who killed them, and I… I had the chance to make them not dead. If I’d have taken that chalice, some woman would still have a spouse, and a kid would still have her mother, and some guy would still have his sist-” his voice cracked. “Uhm. The point is, maybe it wasn’t my fault before, but now that I… now that I’ve given up the cup, it’s sort of my fault again?” 

“But you made the right choice. Countless more people would’ve died if-”

“Yeah, I know. God, I know. I’m the pragmatic one, remember? But… that wasn’t my choice to make, right? I can’t decide for that kid if she wants her mother back or not, even at the risk of… fuckin Rockport, or whatever, I’ve been on too many goddamn adventures. I can’t decide for somebody else if they keep their family or not, no one gets to decide that, but I… I had to. And- and I know I chose right. Hell, Istus probably would’ve killed me if I chose anything else, but… I killed those people. Again. I had the chance to save them, and I didn’t, and… that’s not heroic, or right, or good, that’s just selfish, because… because I didn’t do it to save the Bureau, or the world, or whatever, I did it… to keep Magnus, and Merle, and you, and fucking Angus McDonald, and to stop being alone. I was successful out there, but I was so _alone_ , and I’m leaving people to die for that, and… I’m sorry, this is more than you wanted, I’ll-”

“No!” Kravitz seemed surprised by how forceful his voice came out. “No, Taako, I’m… I’m happy to hear whatever you need to say.”

“I like you.” The words came out, and Taako almost didn’t know what to do with them. “I, uh… I don’t really tell people I care about them too often, but you’re… I guess, like I said, you’re a good thing. And I’m… I’m sorry I’m so cagey, but in my experience, the minute things get real, you become, uh, expendable.”

“You’re not a resource, Taako, you’re a person.”

“Coulda fooled me.” Taako gestured around with a half-smile. “I’m here because I’m a semi-competent wizard, not for any personal value. I’m sure I get complained about all the time, but I’m good at what I do, so I stay. If I tell people that I’m hurting, or need help, or… or whatever, then I lose this job, and if I lose this job, then I’m back to being alone, and without work, and then I’ll probably just fuckin’ die, alright, so… yeah. Like, look at us. You’re talking to me for one of a few reasons. Either you want more information on us so you can more conveniently drag our asses to hell, or you think I’m pretty and a good conversationalist and like talking to me. It’s… no matter how much you claim to care, either way, you’re around me because you get something out of it. That’s how people _work,_ Krav, people are selfish. You’re not a bad person for that, you’re just… I dunno, a person, or whatever, I’m not a great public speaker.” 

“Taako, that’s a _really_ bleak way of looking at things. I think caring about someone or something is inherently selfless, because you’re putting time and effort into making that person or cause or object better, or happier, or more emotionally stable, or… whatever. That’s selflessness, and to vilify that is just _unfair._ ” 

“Yeah, alright, do me a favor and hop off that high horse of yours, k? Listen, you- you say that, but you’re saying it so you feel better. You’re doing something selfless in listening to me blab on about my baggage, but in doing so you’re making yourself out to be a more selfless person. I’m… I’m not trying to slam you, my guy, I’m just explaining how I see things.” 

“Okay. I’m… I’m sorry, but I can’t believe that.”

“Don’t apologize for being more hopeful than me, Krav. I don’t think I’m the… god of philosophy, or whatever, I could be wrong. This is just how I’ve seen the world for… Christ, since I was a kid.” That felt so long ago. It was a while ago, he supposed, but somehow it felt far longer. “No one wants you for what they can give you.” 

“So, is that how you feel about me?” Kravitz sounded almost hurt. “Like I’m… a resource? A commodity?” 

“Shit, hon, no. No. That’s what’s scary to me, I’m… I don’t want you to be that. You, or… or Magnus, or Merle, or Angus, or L- or the Director. Huh. Her I don’t really care about, but I felt like the list of ‘people I care about’ is sort of embarrassingly short, so I figured I’d add her on.” He was rambling. Why was he rambling? “Look, the point is, I’m getting soft, and I don’t… I don’t know what to do with it, and I open up a lot around you, which- which I don’t mean to do, and I’m sorry-”

“Taako!” Taako was shocked out of his spiral by Kravitz’s voice. When he spoke again, it was softer. “Taako. Your vulnerability isn’t a weakness, it’s… it’s a strength. It lets me know you care. I… I don’t think I’d be able to stand you if you weren’t vulnerable, or… or weak, or scared sometimes. You’re- well, I suppose not human, but you’re alive. You’re a person. You have a soul. You’re _real,_ Taako, and that is incomprehensibly beautiful.” 

“Sap.” The word didn’t hold any weight, not when it was breathed through awed lips. Kravitz was _perfect_ , and that was scary, too. “Uh, thanks, I mean, I don’t-” 

“Taako?”

“Yes?”

“You have endeared yourself to me completely and probably pretty damn irrevocably, but for the love of the gods, shut up.” He smiled down at the elf, eyes kind and warm and a little sad. 

Taako smiled back. “Alright, alright. Wanna see if there’s anything to watch on Fantasy Netflix?”

“How are your roommates still awake?”

“I cast silence on their rooms. Burnt a couple spell slots, figured it was worth it.” 

Kravitz laughed softly. “Alright, then. Go ahead.” 

**Author's Note:**

> And then Magnus and Merle woke up to find Death on the couch cuddling their bro, hence why they aren't surprised to hear that hE'S DATING THE GRIM REAPER???
> 
> I,,, Taako honey please talk about your feelings Once
> 
> As a treat
> 
> Love them, sorry that Kravitz kinda turned into an "Author Writes Their Thoughts About Death And Human Value" emotional exposition machine, I hate doing that to characters, but somebody needed to say it and it wasn't gonna be Taako. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
